Well that “detour” in my life is coming to the next stage. Time to go and get rid of this cancer out of my body. Unfortunately this cancer is in my boob and I really don’t want to get rid of one of the girls but hey this girl was trying to kill me. “Dont mess with the best cos the best don’t mess” so off with her!
All set with the following about to be put in my “non pink” suitcase
- Jammies (Button down for comfort after op)
- Dressing Gown
- Safety Pins to hold the drains after
- 8 Bottles of Pinot Grigio for me and my new friend who will unfortunately also be with me tomorrow
- New extremely sexy bras (NOT)
- iPhone charger (most important of all things!)
Feeling extremely strange all day today and any time I think of the pending operation I get misty eyed and my tummy is in a heap. Have had loads of phone calls, texts, messages and well wishers which is wonderful starting to get a bit choked though in some of the calls. Who is this person? the big strong lady who has gone through all of this so far, why be so sad now? I am not nervous or scared just sad. Every time I think of getting my boob taken away it makes me sad, each shower is one less shower with two (of my own) boobs! Being totally honest I know this boob was trying to kill me and by getting rid of Cancerous Chloe I am going to be on my way to recovery. However no matter what way you look at it it’s still sad so there!!!!
Hope the above makes sense and that I am allowed a few hours of sadness through all of this crap. I wouldn’t be true to myself or this blog if I was saying that I was lepping around the garden with joy at the thought of it!! However I am so looking forward to this operation being over and continuing to get better by the day and start the beginning of my new life with my new boob! HEY we havent got a name for her yet – what you reckon?
Heading in at 0750 tomorrow to Vincents not sure I’ll be playing Rod on the way over must find something lively to perk me up (excuse the pun). Not sure of exact time of operation yet but probably around 11 or 12 there will be a lot of prep first then the dreaded wait outside the operating room. Someone suggested I get a sedative as this person was a toughie like myself but lost it waiting outside – drugs – OH YEAH ME PLEASE! Was going it alone but “may” let my sister come with me
The operation is in three parts the mastectomy, the reconstruction (a tiny boob that will be pumped up over time) and then lymph node removal from my right arm they, as far as I know, are taking them all out as the bugger started to travel down that route. The operation in total is around 4/5 hours and will be in hospital around 4/5 days after it. I certainly wont be hollering to go home am going to get cosy and take my time in there, a lot of drains and other bits and pieces to be looked after so would prefer them to look after it than me. Just cant wait to wake up after the operation and know that it’s OVER and that my cancer is gone that’s the main thing!
Hope they wont be playing Queenie Eye Oh or Piggy in the Middle with my boobie in Theatre!
Recovery time after they say is 4-6 weeks worst part is that I probably wont be able to drive for that length of time either to me that’s serious cabin fever. The worst part of the recovery is the arm as opposed to the breast (or non breast or new mound not sure what to call it – lets just call it the thing that is in place of Chloe). It’s very important to get up and moving ASAP and get movement back in the arm with exercises that they give you etc.
Thats if folks as Midnight Oil tune says “the time has come” get it off, get on with my life. I am as strong and positive as ever in my mind with the determination to Kick the Shite out of Cancer so don’t fear folks I havent lost it.
Once again sincere thanks to all of you for making the last eight months in a really strange way some of the best months of my life. I am truly blessed with you all behind me and all the thoughts, prayers, angels, healing powers are all being packed away in my head and brought with me tomorrow.
ONWARDS AND UPWARDS
you are such an inspiration sharing this the way you do best of luck tomorrow.x
ahh thanks Yvonne x
The absolute best of luck Dee – I had a total abdominal hysterectomy nearly 3 years ago due to cervical cancer and was grand till the priest called around to say and prayer and then when I was outside the operating theatre and had a cry both times and I think it was the best thing cos when I woke up I was calm and knew it was for the best – did still have a good sob then a couple of days later too but all that’s natural and you’ve been such a trooper you’ll be great and you need those feelings too in order to get through everything – have to say the nurses were great and the morphine helped too – though the catheher was not my friend – thinking of you tomorrow – bye bye Chloe xx
If I saw a priest that would scare the shite out of me dont mind the cancer!!! Thanks for sharing that – I know I will be fine after its just the thought of it thats freaking me out I think when I come around I will just be so relieved its over!!! Morphine that sounds good thanks again xx
Very best of luck tomorrow. Will say a wee prayer for you (and your surgeon!!!) I’ve been amazed at your strength (and wit!) so far – keep it up and give Chloe a good kick down the road!
ha ha my poor surgeon – looking forward to a good sleep thanks will give her an extra boot for you!
Joyful Julie bounceback Barbra or rejuvinating Rita all names you can call your new friend very best of luck tom will be thinking of you x
mmm am liking Joyful Julie thanks Cathy x
Best of luck Dee, will be thinking of you. How about calling the new boob Pointer Sister or Pumping Pom Pom!
Thanks Caroline you have been brilliant through all this – like the names
Best of luck Dee, you’ll be grand. It all takes a while but I can tell you from a personal point of view once you get past the first 6 weeks everything starts getting back to normal. Enjoy the rest and let everyone run around after you Mel xx
Thanks for that Melanie thats great to know and yes gonna have them runningn around alright!!!
The best of luck tomorrow Dee. Will be thinking of you.
thanks a mlilion
Loads of luck tomorrow Dee. you have said from the start you want to kick the shite out of your cancer, so tomorrow you are finally getting what you wished for, you are kicking the shite out of your cancer, out of your body, out of your life!! terrible to have a gate crasher at your party, so now is the chance to finally kick her out,
get rid!! She was never invited, so when she is FINALLY gone you can get on living. look after yourself and be kind to yourself. Andrea. Xx
Thanks Adrea – you are SO RIGHT – lets kick this bitch!!!! thanks xxxx
Wishing you all the best Dee for tomorrow and for your recovery – couldn’t put it better than Andrea above!! Emer & Bruce xx
Hi Emer – Andrea hit the nail on the head alright – or maybe the nipple on the boob!!!!! xxx
Andrea sure did!! Great that you haven’t lost your fabulous sense of humour Cry as much as you want as you are leaving a part of your life behind and you then have a great future to look forward to xxx
Best of luck tomorrow Dee will be thinking of you stay strong cant wait for your next status to let us know how you are doing best of luck ree , shauna and kelly cant wait to have you back on the street xxxxx
thanks reenagh xx
Super good luck for tomorrow. Will keep u in my thoughts
Sending you big hug cause won’t be able to give you one after xx
thanks lovely lady x
Good luck Dee! Will be rooting for you stateside. Rob!
Best of luck Dee, my Mam (wooly hat under the wig lady) sends her best too. Linda
Hi Linda ahh I remember that day well we had a great laugh. Hope your mams doing well and thanks for stopping into see me last time xxx
Hi Dee, you must remember that you are suffering a loss, and therefore are entitled to all the grief processes anyone has to deal with after a loss. Knowing in your head that what you’re doing is necessary, and being okay with it in your heart are 2 different things. Yes, you will be okay, yes, you will get through it, but allow yourself the time to grieve in whatever way and for however long you need to. We are all here for you, and will continue to support you as you go through this next stage of getting cancer-free. Prayers continue for you, but will be in increased intensity over the next few days. Keep us posted when you feel up to it, and good luck, girl. Praying for you and sending many positive and healing thoughts your way. By the way, I think the name “Pippa” might be a nice touch – just throwing in my suggestion
Sorry, just realized I didn’t sign my name above – the “Pippa” note is from Lorraine in the U.S.
Thanks a million for your words Lorraine they mean a lot and they make sense to me if you know what I mean xxx
thinking of you lots and sending lots of love am glad Ann Marie will be there by your side lots of love Lucie and co xxxxx
Thanks Lucie hope all is well with you guys hugs x
Our best wishes!! We’ll be thinking of you tomorrow!!
thanks a million
I wish you the very best tomorrow you’re a fighter so you’ll be fine. If you feel like a short visit before end of week let me know ? I’m in for rads every day. pm me on the forum I will give you my number.
Thanks Mary would be great to see you will PM you my number xx
The very best of luck tomorrow Dee – I am thinking of you xxx Sue
I’ll be thinking of you all day tomorrow. I’m sure your brother will keep me up to date. I’m not religious, but in case I’m wrong, my Mam is lighting candles for you. I know we’re strangers, but you inspire me. I’m sending you love and positive feelings. And it’s absolutely grand to be sad, or scared or whatever else you need to be. Don’t expect so much of yourself! How about Bouncy Brenda? love Cathriona
Hi Cathriona ah thats so sweet of your Mam, I am so lucky, got a mass said for me in Foxrock today, one in the pro-cathedral tomorrow and candle lighting for me for a year in St. Anthony’s Church Merchant’s quay and a mass a day for a month. I am so lucky. I am humbled by your kind words – Bouncy Brenda that has a good ring to it xx
Hey Dee, best of luck tomorrow, will be thinking of you. Had surgery myself on Friday to repair my shoulder that kept dislocating, (no where near as serious as your surgery) but just want to say ‘take the morphine’ and whatever else they offer you. Also it is ok to be sad, you are loosing an important part of you, I only had a lumpectomy two years ago but I still felt like I had lost a part of myself. Also if it makes you feel any better my right arm is going to be strapped up for eight weeks so no driving for me either. We can go stir crazy together lol Maybe we will get in a few games of scrabble on facebook or something. You are an inspiration to everyone who reads your blog but as you know it is ok to get angry or sad, it is all part of the process. Thanks for all the help you have been to me even two years down my road. Again good luck, but know you will be fine
Ah again so nice thanks a million Therese – scrabble sounds good to me have the laptop packed and seeing as neither of us can get out sure what else would we be doing!!! Glad to hear you are now two years on. Hope the shoulder gets better soon! xx
Will be thinking of u tomorrow. Ur defo right to bring pinot grigio but be careful taking with pain med otherwise u will be floating after one glass. … lol xxx
Floating sounds good to me xx
Your courage is an inspiration and I wish you the very best.
thank you very much
Good luck my gorgeous friend. Your “girls” & my “girls” had a lot of laughs dancing together in various pubs in Sydney once upon a time – my “girls” look forward to meeting their revamped “sisters” one day again soon.
(Be nice to those nurses – you never know what they are saying about you in handover!)
ah we did alright Helen looking forward to shaking them again maybe we’ll get together in around 7 years for the Hawaii 50
Hi Dee, no shame in letting your emotions go every once in a while.
But you’ll get your Bounce back in the course of time.
All the best of wishes and luck for tomorrow my Friend.
Love you xxx
P.S Phoenix could be her new name !
Thanks Eilish – Phoenix the tower of stength – thanks again and love you too – ahhhh Facebook is great we would never have met otherwise!!
Good wishes & virtual hugs Dee. Keep on kicking xx
Thanks Siobhan I’m ready with the boot!
thnking of you Dee heres a hug for you ((((hug)))) xxxx
Just grabbed it whoever you are thanks xx
Have been following your blog!! Best wishes for tomorrow and the days after. I’ve no doubt you’ll be grand xoxoxo
Best of luck for tomorrow Dee will be thinking of you. No bother to you you formidable woman – just the next step in your amazing recovery. Xo
As they say in french “courage” Deirdre. With such a wonderful family & friends support, it will make everything that bit easier. xox Lorna
Best of luck Dee.. Thinking of you.. Have laughed with you.. shared tears with you and best of all learned so much about the symptoms n treatment .available.. keep up the blogs.!! Prayers for you for a rapid recovery now.. Lots of love Breda xx
Dee….You don’t know me but I enjoyed reading your blog today for the first time! I know what you are going through….three years ago my twin sister has the same procedure! I was privileged to be beside her, holding her hand. My sister returned to full time work yesterday! You can do this girl……with the help, support and love of family, friends and stranger who become friends! I will light a candle for you and pray you make a speedy recovery…….Love and Light….Lin
Best of luck dee hope its all gone well x
Hi Dee……it’s been a long and winding road….Al and I are sending you lots of love….here’s to a long and healthy future……love Jackie xxxxxxx
Hope everything went well with you “getting rid of Chloe” & that you are making a good recovery, you are such a fabulously strong lady, you are in my prayers as always x x