Neither here nor there but so much better than the start!!

Well folks its been a while since I have written nearly three weeks that must be my longest yet.  So whats been happening?  Life I suppose is getting back to normality, no more chemo so my whole life is not planned around Vincents every third Thursday.  Was great to wake up last Thursday and not have to go in for chemo.  To be honest I never minded the going into chemo part as it was (in a weird Dee way) quite enjoyable it was when the last bag of it hit you for the next ten days I hated!

Have been feeling great the last few weeks and last chemo didn’t seem as bad as the other seven so that was a bonus.  Have had a couple of great nights out, some fun long lunches, couple of shopping trips, a lovely spa break with my sis and a three-day break in Cork with the family.   Not bad for a sick chick hey!!  Sick?  whose sick?  Someone reminded me about that a while ago and said well you are sick Dee, I was a little taken aback I don’t consider myself sick.    See now there’s a good question am I still sick?  I know I still have cancer but I am hoping that will be taken out of me by the end of this month, then of course will be recuperating for a while after the operation and then loads of Radio Therapy etc.  In my mind I am not sick, I have cancer alright though……..  was thinking earlier today and a few other times as well maybe I am not taking this seriously enough then I thought NO….. that means I would actually have to think about me having cancer and that’s the last thing I want to do.  I must admit I have not once strayed in my mind that there would be any other result than a good one after my time with cancer.   I’m still me just had two things growing within me which have been nearly nuked to fucking Timbuctoo!!  I am also very mindful of people who have not been as lucky and people I know now that are fighting way harder than I am.

I am still very much in cloud cuckoo land most of the time what I mean is I suppose concentration and am very airy fairy (not usually like me).  Also quite emotional all the time which again is not like me and maybe I put that down to the menopause which I was gladly given as a bonus with chemo (congratulations Deirdre yes you have won yourself eight rounds of chemo and yes that’s not all, as a bonus prize you get to go into early menopause too)!   I feel outside of myself sometimes not the person I used to be and I am definintely not the same person that I was six months ago I do things now that I wouldn’t have done then – why?  because I can :-)   because I should :-) because I deserve to :-) who knows I don’t question things any more but I certainly know now that life is not a dress rehearsal.

Before I forget or get carried away check out the new Man App Reminder for Breast Cancer way better to watch than read those leaflets with cartooned boobs!!!!

Remember the New Look competition I won with your help as you voted for me well we had that just before Easter.  I will fill you in with all the details when we get the pictures we had a great time.

Just come back from a lovely three night break in East Cork, Youghal with the family was a good break and the kids had an absolute ball.  The hotel left a lot to be desired and I was raging I left my belly tops and velour trackie pants for all occasions at home :-)   Youghal is a lovely area and we spent a good bit of time driving around Cork.  On Saturday night no-one wanted to go to the hotel for a drink I was not impressed.  Rebecca my six-year-old said I’ll go Mammy, so off we went, we both had a drink and there was someone playing on the keyboard and singing and loads of kids up dancing.  I said to Beca “do you want to dance” she said “No I am not dancing by myself” I said “no with me” – her little face lit up with excitement we had three dances she was chuffed!   See I am no longer to cool for school :-) hopefully I never was!

Check out The Girls and Me on a Sunny Cork Morning!!

Next stop for me is my mascteomy operation on 23rd April this is when Cancerous Chloe gets the chop along with what is leftover of my tumours.  At the same time they will try a reconstruction which will be a small boob that will be “pumped up” over a few months to make it bigger!  Bit like going into the garage to fill your tyres :-)    Everytime I think about the operation I tell myself not to think about it and I dont want to think about it.  I know it is something that has to be done and of course it will rid me of my cancer so thats what I focus on.   On the day they will also remove the lymph nodes from my right arm so it will be a long operation, boob, reconstruction and lymphnodes around 8 hours in total!  So its not just lobbing the boob off and saying here catch or playing piggy in the middle around the operating room with it.

One very important thing though will be happening before this.  Celebrating nuking the tumour booze up this Saturday 13th April, Goat Grill, Goatstown.  At this stage we have choice of both DJ and general area of a great band.   Would love if you could join me for a beer – everyone is welcome the more the merrier!







Good things that have Happened

  • A new friend of mine has found out that cancer is NOT in her bones!!!
  • My cousin Kerri Featherstone from the USA is coming over for my booze up and staying a week – cant wait!
  • Another friend of mine is nearly on her last chemo
  • The kids are back at school – WHOOP WHOOP
  • I’ll have a head of hair like Sinead O’Connor again this time tomorrow gone with the fuzz – have to shave three time before the real McCoy comes back
  • Its (nearly) getting warmer!!
  • Loads of people are coming to The Goat on Saturday for a drink

Thats if folks – delighted to be back writing again could have written all night!  Hope to see you Saturday and if you cant make it don’t worry the REALLY BIG one is still to come!!!

Dee xxx





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15 Responses to Neither here nor there but so much better than the start!!

  1. Yvonne Brennan says:

    Dee, you’re absolutely incredible. I admire your positivity. The very best of luck with the op & reconstruction, it can’t be any worse than the chemo :) From one baldy to another, you’re nearly there, the radiation is a doddle, this time next year it’ll all be behind you. Well done, keep the chin up x

  2. Anonymous says:

    you dont know me but i know of you. i am jennifer lowth from kilmacud park. your blogs are a privledge to read. Your outlook on cancer is amazing and your children should be so proud to have a mum like you. wishing you the very best on the next leg of your fighting journey.

  3. Marian Deasy says:

    Hi Dee, Wishing you well with your surgery & new boob(s), you are the bravest lady through such a tough time, in unselfishly sharing your experience with us all & you are right, “you are not the same person you were 6 months ago” in fact anyone who has had cancer is never the same again, it changes you forever, physically & mentally, your attitude to life, your self-worth, your tolerance of allowing others to treat you badly, becomes zero (& rightly so) You are never the same again, you are better, braver, stronger & when this brave journey ends, I wish you a long, healthy & happy life with your lovely family

    • Deirdre says:

      Thank you so much Marian you have been very good following me all along and all your support is greatly appreciated it really is. Thanks once again from the bottom of my heart xx

  4. Anita says:

    Great to read all your updates :) hope you have a fab time on saturday! X

  5. Anonymous says:

    Inspirational Dee … what more can I say. love and hugs,
    Bernie x

  6. ZestyEnd says:

    I LOVE THAT ” physically & mentally, your attitude to life, your self-worth, your tolerance of allowing others to treat you badly, becomes zero (& rightly so”
    i recived a dignosis four weeks ago and have not had any treatment yet .I was also thinking of a blog but not sure about sharing my story ,but even at this stage I know its a masectomy and lymph nodes removed followed by chemo and radiation . I am no longer intested in talking to people who ,with no personal experienc say ah sure you will be grand ,but the flip is God love you its all ahead of you.
    I can’t help thinking of the comidean Grocho Marxs expression I would’nt want to be a member of any club that would want me and yet my life has dictated that I join this , Kicking the Shite out of Cancer Club.I wounder what we could get with loalty points ?

    • Deirdre says:

      Hi there – ha ha I know exactly what you mean “ah sure you’ll be grand” what a crock of shit! People though sometimes dont know what to say and they say the weirdest things. Do the blog for yourself and then publish it if you feel like it I found it good for myself as it kept me going and of course met great people. When I started it loads of people who had been there before offered me support which was great as I hadnt a clue!! Love the Grocho Marx expression! Loyalty Points – Jesus I hope not hopefully not too many people will need join – you know where I am if you want to get in touch! Cheers and best of everything with things – honestly grab it by the balls, go with the flows, take the good times and try forget about the bad ones xxxx

  7. Jackie McEwan says:

    Good to hear from you again dee…..really sorry that we can’t be there with you to celebrate the end of the chemo, but you will have a fantastic night for sure….it’s been one hell of a journey and the end is almost in sight. I think the operation will be a cake-walk compared to the challenges you have faced. Enjoy Life and take care, love Jackie and Alan xx

  8. Karen says:

    You are a wonderful woman.