Lovely day today isn’t it? makes such a change when you wake up and see something blue in the sky instead of grey, grey, grey they could have made an Irish weather book called Fifty Shades of Grey – then again would have been a bit boring compared to the original … think I should stop typing all the one liners I am thinking of!
Well big news for me this week Cancerous Chloe is making her debut on 23rd of April to get the Mr Burgess. All confirmed with surgeon so I will be donning the Blue Guna again and saying goodbye to hopefully all my cancer cells along with a good bosom buddy. Chloe has been part of me for quite some time and has caused me to be in many strange situations and her bosom buddy Floppy Fiona will be a little lonely. Getting a little misty eyed writing this, I don’t really have a problem getting rid of her as she certainly is not my friend at the moment but I suppose I wouldn’t be human even it didn’t make me a little sad. Spent as I mentioned a while ago, most of my life disliking having big boobs and dressed accordingly at the big Aran Sweater and baggy t-shirts. Recently I finally accepted yeah I have big boobs and I love em and instead of walking with rounded shoulders I bounced down the road instead proud as punch! In fairness I did have to buy a lot of shades to hide the bruising.
I rang the Breast Clinic on Monday to confirm the date in between feeling extremely sorry for myself and being in a lot of pain. This chemo seems to get me in the joints from the top of my head down to my toes, get a lot of tingling sensations like constant pins and needles. I did try the wet behind my knees like we did as kids but didn’t work. Gross as its sounds but nearly down to seven toenails….ewwww…..they are still there with the help of medical science (selotape). Just goes to show you the poison that really is in chemo (which I am not complaining about as this poison is making me better). Also chemo brain and metal mouth was pretty bad. Simone my lovely friend asked me and the girls up for dinner on Sunday it was lovely big HUGE plate of sunday roast, I finished off the plate and had seconds, I find I am eating like a horse (and no that’s not a meat burger) and when I finish eating I wonder what I am going to eat next. I don’t have a big appetite normally I think that it’s because I can’t taste the food the brain is not getting the signal that I am full Chemo brain is the worst can be in the middle of a conversation and totally stop as cant remember what I was saying or what I was about to say its very frustrating and I can sympathise for people who maybe getting to dementia stage its terrible when you are trying to grapple for words and your brain just wont help. Wednesday evening started to pick up again thankfully and realise now that I will only have one more week of feeling this chemo crap.
Had appointment with plastic surgeon on Thursday which I was very excited about, my friend Lisa kindly accompanied me for a second pair of ears and it’s always great to have company. We first met a very “hot” young doctor and he had my file in front of me and asked me something like “so whats the problem” I was like ehhh ”breast cancer” ahh I see he says……whats the point of having files?? He then said I see you live in Kildare, I quickly said “please don’t hold that against me I’m really from Dublin”, he said “I am from Kildare” I said “lovely place”…..
The main thing I want to do is have immediate reconstruction now this is not just as simple as taking one boob off and placing the new boob on and you wake up and you still have two boobs, but one is much closer to your neck where the other one was years ago it’s a very difficult and time-consuming process. Going to explain it in layman’s for you in case you may be interested!
There are around five options however only two options are currently available to me at the moment as I will be having seven weeks of daily Radio Therapy. One is a tissue expander so basically when they take Chloe off they will fit an expander into my chest wall and will allow my skin to expand as opposed to close up after the surgery. When I come out of surgery instead of having a big flat nothing there will be a small mound of a breast. This then gets expanded over a couple of months with a saline solution which will pump the breast. It was explained that implants don’t come in my size so will be a smaller size (no worries with that). This same procedure is also available and it was mentioned some pig something or other was used but in this day and age with all the scandal about the horse meat thought this option wasnt for me. Lisa was taking notes and making oink oink sounds as if to say ehhh not that option thanks. With the way I am doing it basically when it comes to Radio Therapy there is no way of knowing how the new expanded boob will react its hit or miss and a lot can go wrong. Most people wait til after Radio Therapy (six months after) to get this done – me I am too impatient and yes there is a huge fail rate with people having Radio after. However I am going to go for it and am not going to think of a fail rate gonna thing that this is gonna go really well for me and will come out of it with new boob intact. If it doesn’t work then its back to doing it five months after Radio where then you can also have the option of doing it from the fat in your back, or doing it from fat in your tummy (tummy tuck). Both are very big operations and recovery time is at least six weeks and a lot of scarring. In a nutshell, operation at same time fit expander, go back to hospital few visits to pump it up, radio therapy 7 weeks, insertion of implant two months after, three months after Fiona gets a hoist to fit the new one, two months after new nipple for the new one…… the nipples are drawn on as tattoos…. think I am gonna have a tatoo…..not sure yet what…. was thinking of a wink smiley.
Hope your still awake got a bit technical but some people will find it interesting I think. Lisa and myself decided let’s go for the first option and go with the flow, thinking positives and no piggy promises. We confirmed it all over lunch in O’Dwyers and no we didn’t go for the BLT.
On an entirely different note there is a beautiful little six-year-old girl living near me, as pretty as a princess and her name is Leah she reminds me so much of my little six-year-old. Leah has a very very chronic cancer tumour growing in her brain and has 10% chance of coming through this via an operation overseas. Her parents and family are desperately trying to raise the cash to send her overseas to give her this tiny chance. Timing is crucial for Leah as it’s a matter of weeks. I know times are tough but if you had a spare few quid to give Leah a chance her family would be so grateful. You can donate online here www.idonate.ie/princessleahfund . There is also a Facebook Page set up to show how you can help with fundraising for Leah http://www.facebook.com/pages/Princess-Leah-Fund/430734863663282 Thanks in advance for your genorosity I cant even imagine the above scenario for my princesses.
Good things that happened this week
- Second Last sickness from chemo finished
- Lisa came with me to appointment was great
- Lovely Sunday roast with Simone and Gary
- My Mam is out of hospital and recovering
- The Surgeon and Plastic Surgeon have agreed to my operation so it’s all systems go!
- Got a cheque instead of a bill in the post
- Got operation date and decided yeah bugger it let’s go with the immediate recon
- Made some new funny FB friends
- Jumping in car later to visit friends Grainne and Mary Cunningham childhood friends you cant beat em. Happy Birthday Mary will be picking up the fire-fighting stripogram lads en route
Jesus nearly forgot very important having a booze up see details below it’s a Tumour Party its a free for all its in a big pub and band is playing – if you would like to come and raise a glass would love to see you there. 13th April If your on FB and you can make it please respond here http://www.facebook.com/messages/#!/events/130631287115744
Thats it folks thanks for reading if you got this far. Grab your precious children give them the biggest hug ever and tell them how much you love them. Glow with happiness as they are healthy and beautiful. Bring them out in the sunshine