Well today was D-Day! I remember on the 29th September after the first shocking news that I had cancer was given to me by the doctor. Then asking him so innocently so you mean I have to have a mastectomy? He said yes most definitely – okay……phew lot to take in within ten minutes. Then it was off to the Nurses office with the lovely Gillian and she went through a lot of things. Then still sort of “out of it” after the news that “I” “me” “Dee” “Deirdre” had cancer something just dawned on me and I asked her “will I lose my hair” she said “yes unfortunately”
So within the space of half an hour I had cancer and I was going to be bald. To be honest in that first hour being bald seemed even worse than having cancer and having to have your boob off. Well I suppose I was in shock. Think the thought especially for a woman to be bald is just horrific – well it was for me anyhow.
I also swore that there was no way I would ever share photos of me bald, however as I write this blog I know there are a least ten women out there following this blog who have Breast Cancer and have not got to chemo and losing their hair stage yet – so girls these are for you Go with the flow have some fun with it and it really really really wasnt that bad at all HONESTLY
When I started the whole process I was “reassured” again that there is absolutely no chance of saving the hair as the chemo is “full-on”. Then you start chemo you still have your hair, even after day 10 and then as I wrote about in recent belog it started to fall out… so wont cover old ground.
I think yesterday was the worst day on the “hair falling out trail” it was just so whats the word distressing and actually disgusting. After shower basically half of my hair was left in the shower. Then was trying to figure out how the bloody hell am I going to brush it and dry it. The minute I brushed it just huge clumps came out so I never even bothered to dry it. The kids took a picture of the back of it for me and all I could see was huge patches of baldness. Needless to say didn’t feel much like doing anything yesterday apart from arsing around the house doing what? I have no idea to be honest.
This morning I must say I was really looking forward to getting rid of my hair. I was ready to embrace this new stage in my journey and I wasnt scared or nervous or anything I just wanted it off. Thankfully Sis was coming with me and anytime Mia comes with me to anything we manage to have a laugh – even at a head-shaving event with no alcohol
On the way over in the car was of course thinking about it a lot, couldn’t find my feel good CD so went with Rod Stewart’s Greatest Hits (I love Rod Stewart – when did it become acceptable to say you like Rod Stewart you would no way admit that as a teenager). I sang along to Maggie and later on in the tracks “I Dont Want to Talk About It” came on and welled up a little bit. To be honest would have been quite happy to drive all the way to Wexford as it was a lovely day and really didn’t want to take Exit 13 off the M50.
Was a bit early so drove up to Mt Merrion Park for a walk – emmmm well I got as far as the bench and had a sit down and enjoyed the beautiful view of a lovely Autumn Day and prepared myself.
Met my Sis (Mia) and we had a hug outside and told each other “right we’re ready” neither of us had any tears, however we seriously had loads of laughs. I went to Hatim in HSWigCentre in Drommartin - don’t think he realised that he was going to have two laughing hyenas in his salon. Think he quite enjoyed our humour and was saying that it’s the only way to go to be positive and as much as one can enjoy the occasion. Which we did!
Shaving began we tried to get the best photos to show the process Mia was laughing taking them I was cracking up in the chair (with my back to the mirror so I couldn’t see what was happening) Hatim was laughing as well. Hair was everywhere and by Jesus my head felt seriously cold.
As it was nearing the end Mia came saying to me “honestly it’s actually okay, really seriously it’s actually ok, it sort of suits your face!” So it was all done and Hatim showed me in a mirror and you know what it wasnt as bad as I expected – don’t think I’d be walking down to the village bald or anything (for the moment) but seriously it was OK!
Hatim then fitted my new wig and was cutting it and shaping it (this part I was allowed to see) and it looked really nice, way nicer than the state of my hair on the way in. We left with some nice shampoo and oils for my new head and also a lovely foam head to put my wig on at nighttime! Hatim was seriously fantastic and has been one of the best experiences I have had throughout this horrible time. Thanks so much Hatim I really appreciate it!
Off we went (foam head and all) back down to Rathmore, Mam and Dad were delighted they thought I looked great. Seemingly they were of course (as parents) very nervous for me. Mam didn’t want to see any pictures of me bald and that was absolutely fine with me.
Mia and myself skipped off down to O’Dwyers for lunch where we had a great laugh looking at all the photos and having a great old chat. As we said who would have thought that two months ago that we would be having lunch in O’D's and I would be in a wig!
Headed home to the kids as they were just dying to see me. Came in and they loved my hair but of course they all wanted to see me bald. My friend Ger took this video of their reaction which I thought was just classic!
So that was it that was my day. Hubby thought I looked great (takes cancer to get a nice complement he too was so happy of course that the day went well and that I wasnt upset at all, which I wasnt in the slightest!
Thanks all for all the texts, FB messages and email this morning that really means a lot and makes all this so much more…….. fun