Woohoo so far so good I know its only two days but havent been visiting the toilet bowl head first – am hoping this is a sign that it could mean that maybe my tummy is gonna cope with this poison inside me. I am willing myself daily that I don’t feel nauseous and I don’t really and havent had to take any nauseous tablets I have been prescribed.
So how am I feeling? Emmmmm I feel like I have a permanent hangover and sort of dragging myself around the place. Bit zoned out and unconcentrated and fidgety or something can’t put my finger on it. First night woke up at 4.56 but slept til 8.49 today (to be exact). I love my sleep usually I wake up and can doze for a good few hours after. Not this time though its weird once awake that’s it no going back to sleep. Delighted with the good night sleep last night. Having some really cool and bizarre dreams – once I was Pamela Andersson running down Brittas Bay Beach – another I was sitting with Tubs telling my story on the Late Late :-) ps Cant stand the Late Late Show would prefer to do another round of Chemo!
Had a big night out last night in Dublin my Brother Colly retired from the Guards after 30 years of service – we were so proud of him. The night went great even managed two wines and around seven – snow whites delights. Was absolutely knackered at the end of the night but managed to have a few bops and a good laugh with family.
I knew that a lot of people knew I had breast cancer when I went in and it was quite mmm amusing not the word, emmmm interesting maybe better about how other people cope with it. You could see them wondering should they come straight over to me and talk to me, should they mention it at all. Felt some people wondering which one of Colly’s sisters had the dodgy tit One of two people came over straight away and asked how I was and that they were sorry to hear my news – this is a great approach for me no beating around the bush – it is was it is and really appreciate when people just come out and say it to me.
Later that night after a few drinks had been taken I felt people getting braver and sort of inching over to me and would sit down beside me and you could see in their face they were trying to figure out what to say. They would look blankly then say how are you doing – that’s cool as well its different for people. Great that people are not ignoring me I would absolutely hate that – being ignored does not iron well with me if you don’t have the gumption to be able to talk to me about it maybe I am being harsh but then I don’t need or want your friendship – that’s just the way it is for me! No time for that!
At the end of the night got a few hugs from people who hadn’t made it over to me as well and that too was good but found it a bit upsetting for myself as they were sort of getting upset and wishing me well etc.etc. So left with misty eyes but happy that so many people were supportive that’s the main thing.
Not a bad day today – snuck down to make myself brekkie to go back to bed but girls heard me so we had me on the Computer, two on the laptop and the little one on my iPhone a very 2000 way of parenting
Was gonna do a trip to local shopping centre but reckoned the little one in Clane would be enough – bought a load of crap but did manage a lovely sandwich and coffee in the cafe! Kids going wild buying stuff for Halloween. They have a fab second-hand designer shop there so went in for a browse and came out with a lovely warm cardigan and a really really warm winter coat. I was thinking to myself I can’t afford this then I thought – Fuck It – why not. The lady was commenting on me trying on everything – I told her I had Breast Cancer (don’t know why I feel the need to tell people this maybe its a little devilment for the shock factor not sure). She was a bit taken aback then she said well if you can’t treat yourself when you have cancer when can you and we had a good laugh Was thinking about a huge pile of unopened bills I have at home and I couldn’t give a rats arse about them. Priorities change so much when you find out your sick – your thinking changes.
Doing a fashion photo shoot tomorrow down in Carlow for Laura Lynn House a fabulous charity. I am gonna get spoiled rotten It’s a Calendar of small businesses and we all have a month some will have two people on a month – you never know my cancer card might get me a month all to myself. Will get make-up by the Lovely Rachel from Forever Fabulous , Hair by the Lovely Shauna at Head Hair Therapy and styled by the wonderful Soraya from Coze di Roze and then photographed by the Lovely Elaine from Elaine Laverty Photography . All of us being organised by Mairead Kelly from Cute Honey Seeing as this is the last time I will be photographed with current hair and current boobs – gonna make the most of it. So watch this space – Dee like you have never seen her before!!!
That’s it folks – now time to raid the fridge! Enjoy the rest of your weekend and Party Hard and live life to the Max!!! Carpe Diem