Reality is kicking in – been in a bit of a strange dazed sort of mood today, couldnt concentrate at work (then again that’s nothing new). Had around three misty eye moments out of nowhere. Had the most dreadful heartburn which I havent had in over six years. Strange I also had a pain in my right boob which I have never had before – so maybe that was the cancer feeling nervous thinking that their time had come
Tomorrow I am a sick person, one that will be going to hospitals, one that will be fighting a big ugly disease. Who is this person? It’s not me – reckon they got mixed up – will wake up tomorrow and it will be a dream? Hopefully its the DT’s it happened to Christy Moore it could happen to me.
Folks dropping me in tomorrow and my Mam will “hang around” the hospital waiting for me not exactly room in the Chemo room. Then its straight to Rathmore under orders to see how I feel – gonna have a battle on my hands if I want to go home later that day:-)
Gonna bring my laptop, and iPhone of course to keep me company and maybe a book. However am looking forward to meeting the other people in the room and hearing their stories. I will probably look like the new kid on the block, healthy, loads of hair and happy and the others will be looking at me thinking poor girl.
Reckon it will be a bit like labour (for those women who have not had a baby yet and plan to dont read this) – no one really tells you what its like. Used to laugh when first time Mothers tell me about getting their hair done before, new nighty bought, pedicure and manicure (I would laugh inside of course) before they went in to have the baby. When you get in there its a totally different story!
So folks I’m on my merry way I have friends who are Buddhists, Jehovah’s, Christians, Protestants, Atheists, Catholics and on and on. Please take some time tonight to get your God or your Spiritual preference to forgive me in advance for killing so many cancer cells. I will feel no remorse, I am not going to jail for it and I certainly wont weep over their grave.
Gonna Float Like a Butterfly and Sting Like a Bee